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First – move in a direction that is more nourishing to yourself and your partner.
Second – deal with disagreements so conflict doesn’t escalate.
Third – listen to yourself and your partner. Stop making assumptions and ask instead. Learn how to honour one another’s dreams as well as your own. Therefore build a strong couple relationship.
“We sought out couples counselling with Wendy as my wife and I were becoming easily frustrated by each other and had not been laughing and enjoying time as a couple as we used to. With a lot of stress going on in our lives, we had recently experienced grief and loss. We weren’t at wits-end, we weren’t planning on separating, we just needed some help to get our partnership back on track.
Wendy is amazing, she picks up on subtle clues that we were oblivious to. This has helped us see patterns in our behaviours, and understand where they come from. She has helped us explore our individual needs and how to communicate to have them understood and respected by one and another. Most importantly, she has given us new tools and ways back to one and another, in a deeper more loving and playful way. We are now in the best place we have ever been, and continue to see Wendy as our time with her is an investment in our selves and our marriage.”
–Ben Groves| Speech Analytics Specialist
Research into Couple Counselling using the Gottman method couples therapy shows that having more fun with your partner is the basis for closer more supportive relationships and therefore better mental health. Deeper friendship with your partner is the foundation that leads to greater intimacy, love and fun.This sense of safety and ‘coupleness’ now allows you to deal more effectively with the outside world – and this increases both your chances of living longer!
John Gottman says couples fall into one of two categories – the Masters of relationships or the Disasters of relationships. Through evidence based research spanning over 40 years, he has discovered Masters turn towards their partner. Therefore, they listen. They respond to their partners bids for attention. Masters use appreciation. Noticing the little things their partner does, they follow this with gentle ways of bringing up conflict. Above all, they know how to repair the relationship if conflict happens.
Whereas Disasters have been found to rarely give appreciation. Instead, they turn away, and often use criticism, contempt and blame when talking to their partner. Harsh start ups escalate conflict. There are few repair attempts after a fight. Disasters are often stuck in an attack and defend system. In short, they don’t know how or have lost the ability to connect at a heart level.
Move into a more appreciative way of being by using healthier communication skills. Improve your feelings of intimacy, closeness and romance by building a stronger friendship system and a strong couple relationship. From this now fertile base, you can learn skills in how to deal with conflict. Face, and deal with old hurts and gridlocked issues.
Flourishing relationships strengthens individual confidence and self love. This nourishment and improved self esteem filters out into all areas of your life. It also strengthens your ability to deal with past traumas and difficulties from other times in your life that might be getting in the way.
To sum up – Couple Counselling using the Gottman method of couples therapy strengthens your relationship by teaching you how to improve intimacy and understanding, thereby being better friends with your partner. Feel individually more resilient and nourished by growing your feelings of togetherness and safety. Rippling out into other areas of your life, it strengthens how you are at work, with colleagues, dealing with extended family and friends. Better relationships create greater confidence. And greater well being.
Learn how to improve your relationship by contacting Wendy.
“Wendy is great at being able to give insightful and meaningful feedback and mediation. Wendy has the ability to really look deeper into relationships. I felt empowered after our sessions together.”
–Jade (Central Coast)